My Road Trip
by She'sAManiac
Summary: Rowdy was sold to a guy in Austin. To get him back, JD must travel for three days in a van to get him back from a Taxidermy Competition. But with the Janitor and Dr Cox in tow, this is gonna be one hell of a road trip! No romance, sorry. COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

Today had been a fairly normal day

Today had been a fairly normal day. I'd been crushed by Dr Cox, mopped by the Janitor, and helped a few people get back on their feet.

When I went to the Nurse's office, Carla was looking exceptionally happy. She handed me my final chart of the day.

"Ok, so I've got to take Mrs Abel's annual blood test, and then I'm done!"

"That's great! Hey, Bambi, Turk's on surgery call tonight, so I'll walk back with you!"

"Great! I'll see you in a few minutes then?"

"Sure. Oh, but Bambi, keep out of Dr Cox's way. One of his patients just died, and they had become quite close, so he's not very happy"

"Thanks, Carla"

After taking Mrs Abel's blood test, I ran into Dr Cox. I remembered what Carla had said, and so told myself not to aggravate him.

"How you doing, Dr Cox?" Damnit!"

"Well, Carol, the only sane patient I've had for over a month has just passed away leaving me to a devil ex-wife and the baby son from hell, so yeah I'm doing just great, and I'll be doing much better tonight when I'm out getting pissed"

Well, at least that rant was shorter than usual. Poor Dr Cox, he must be getting worn out in his old age. I went to pick up Carla, and we walked back to the flat.

But when I got there, I had the shock of my life.

There were men in jumpsuits, taking out boxes of things from our apartment!

"What's going on?" I asked Carla. She grinned.

"I sold loads of junk we don't need on EBay so we could clean out the apartment! Don't worry, I didn't sell your CD collection!" she reassured, noting the look on my face.

"Oh, that's ok, because I need them tonight. I need to give Rowdy his monthly bath, and we can't do that without The Feeling! _She's just a small town girl_…"

I heard the men talking to Carla.

"Es esto todo, señorita Espinosa?"

"Sí, esto es grande, gracias!"

Must have got some of her Spanish friends to help out. I heard them shut the door, and heard their van drive off outside.

I walked into my bedroom, still singing _Small Town Girl_. Boy, was it catchy! I went over to the shoe rack to get Rowdy…

But Rowdy was gone.

Frantically, I ran all over the apartment, looking for the Labrador.

"What's up, Bambi?"

"Carla, have you seen Rowdy?"

"What?"

"Rowdy. He was at my shoe rack earlier and now he's gone!"

Carla frowned for a moment. Then she gasped and put her hand over her mouth.

"Oh my god, Bambi, I'm so sorry! I think Rowdy must have been taken away with the EBay boxes by mistake!"

"What? Do you know where they went?"

"JD, you can't go and get him back!"

"I can and I will! Rowdy's a priceless antique! Now where did they go?"

"Everything in that van was bought by some taxidermist guy in Austin. That's three days drive from here! JD I'm sorry, but Rowdy's gone!"

I grabbed my coat, and stormed out of the apartment. I had to go to Sacred Heart and get Turk. We were going to have to get Rowdy back. I don't generally act on impulse, but this was different.

By the time I got to the hospital, the sky was beginning to darken. I could see the Janitor, putting something into his van. He slammed the doors, and then noticed me.

"Hey, Scooter! What are you doing here?"

"Why are you suddenly being so nice to me?" I asked him suspiciously.

"Outside of work, I'm a different person" he stated.

"Ok…well I've gotta find Turk so I'll see you around" I muttered.

"Don't bother. That surgery's gonna take all night!"

"How do you know?"

"That poor intern should never have stuck a paperclip in my door…"

Ok, now I was scared.

"Crap! What am I gonna do?" I said to myself.

"What do you need to do?" he asked again. What was up with him tonight?

"I need to go to Austin to get my stuffed dog back. He was sold to some taxidermist on EBay"

"Taxidermist? I know where your dog will be!"

"What?"

"There's a taxidermy competition down in Austin in a few days. I'm going there myself with my squirrel army. If you want to get there, there's plenty of room in the van!"

At first I was wary. But hey, Carla knew where I was. What did I have to loose?

I nodded, and climbed into the Janitor's van.

We drove for half a mile in silence before I heard something in the back.

"Ouch, my head…" came a familiar voice.

"Dr Cox?" I yelled. Sure enough, the recognizable curls appeared between the chairs.

"Newbie?"

"Damn, he's awake…" muttered the Janitor.

"What the hell did you do to him?"

"He looked at me real funny earlier. I took him out while he was drunk. I was gonna bury him somewhere"

Oh crap. I was stuck in a van with the Janitor and a hungover Dr Cox. This was gonna be one hell of a road trip…


	2. Chapter 2

Today had been a fairly normal day

Ok, so I was stuck in a van with the Janitor and Dr Cox, going on a three day drive to Austin to get my stuffed dog back. This should be interesting. Dr Cox was snoring loudly in the back, having fallen asleep due to his hangover. The Janitor was keeping his eye on the road, and I was anxious for my well-being, stuck in a small white van with my worst enemy. The clock on the dashboard said 11:21 pm.

Suddenly, I heard a small sound in my pocket, my cellphone. I picked it up, and flicked it open.

"Hello?"

"JD, where the hell are you?" came Carla's voice down the line. Oh crap, here we go. Carla from the block has gone technological!

"I'm…" I began. The Janitor tapped a map on the ceiling with his finger.

"Well, let's just say I'll be at Phoenix in a few hours!"

"I mean, where are you as in, where are you? What are you doing?"

"Ohh! Well, I'm with the Janitor…"

"You're _what_?"

"I'm with the Janitor and we're going to Austin to get Rowdy back from that guy!"

"Oh, god, JD…!"

"Don't be so worried! Dr Cox is here too…"

"What the hell? What's Perry doing there?"

Hmm…maybe it wouldn't be a good idea to tell her that the Janitor was planning on dumping him in the middle of nowhere.

"He's just…anyway, I'm fine! Don't worry about me!"

"Bambi, you are so…"

"Yeah, love you too Carla, bye!"

I quickly hung up, and sighed. There was a shift in the back seat. Dr Cox seemed to have woken up again.

"You awake, Angry Doctor?" called the Janitor.

"What the hell's going on, Jumpsuit?" my mentor called back. "Where am I?"

"The back of the van"

"What…where are we going? And why is Lucy here?"

"Who's Lucy?"

"That'd be me…" I muttered. Stupid Dr Cox…

"Well, in answer to your question, we're going down to Austin!" said the Janitor.

"Austin? Lurch, that's three days away!"

"I know…"

"For God's sake, let me outta this van!"

"Sorry, Angry Doctor, but no can do. You see, we're on the middle of the highway"

"I'll hitchhike back!"

"Dr Cox, there's no one around for miles; it's 11:30 pm. And I'd like to see you reduced to hitchhiking!" I said.

"I swear, Mariah, the second we're out of this van, your girly ass is gonna wish it had never been born!" Dr Cox threatened. Eep!

"Hey! Don't you threaten Scooter! That's my job!"

Phew, protection…thanks you, Janitor!

After another hour of driving and Dr Cox grumbling, we stopped at a service station. The Janitor parked the van, and we got out to get food.

Dr Cox stalked off.

"Hey, Angry Doctor! Where you going?"

"Phone booth! Unlike you ladies, I have an ex-wife and a child I need to see!"

"I was afraid of that…" the Janitor smirked. I wondered what he was talking about, until Dr Cox came back to us, looking angrier than ever.

"Give me back my loose change, Jumpsuit!"

"Hmm…Janitor says no!" muttered Janitor. Boy, was this gonna be awkward!

"Lurch, I am going to…"

"Bububu!" the Janitor interrupted. "Just to warn you I have 20 kinds of nasty cleaning acids in the back so you can be a good little Angry Doctor and get on with it or you can loose an ear!"

The Janitor was threatening someone other than me? Ok, serious confusion!

My mentor and my enemy glared at each other. I wanted to say something along the lines of _"Austin. Van. Three days. Can't we just all get along?"_ without sounding like a girl. Although I'd been called it plenty of times before.

"Ok, well I've got kidnap, robbery, threat and assault on the list of things you've done to me tonight, Jumpsuit, so if you and Nicola here want to go down to Austin for your lovely little date, fine by me, but don't pull me into it because I swear to God I'll make your life hell if you do!"

"Hey, guys…" I began. They turned at me and glared. "Can we get the burgers and go because I would kinda like to get to Austin…"

"Why, Janice, does your boyfriend live there? Be a good little girl and get those cheap crap they call McDonalds since I threw up all my lunch before Lurch here knocked me out. And get me a scotch too!"

I sighed and shook my head. Those two could really be a pain in the ass sometimes. Well, always. But hey, Austin was Austin.

Only two days, 53 hours to go…


	3. Chapter 3

Today had been a fairly normal day

**Note-Apologies for an error in chapter 1 I just noticed. The song JD sings is "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey, not "Small Town Girl" by The Feeling. I don't know how I got that wrong!**

I woke up at first not knowing where I was. I yelped out when I saw the Janitor next to me, and then remembered what had happened last night.

"Oh it's you…I thought I was having some crazy nightmare…!"

"Yep, I get inside people's heads a lot. I have fun roaming dreams at night!"

Ok…

I had fallen asleep last night listening to Dr Cox's mumbled slurring through the bottle of scotch I had bought for him. I now had a killer headache from the crap night's sleep I had. The smell of soggy cardboard, ketchup and something I couldn't place hovered in the cramped van from the remains of the McDonalds. Still, the Janitor had been awake all night, poor guy. Lack of sleep can drive some people crazy…

**The Janitor's eye starts twitching, and he lunges at JD, and starts biting his neck as JD screams. Cut to the Austin Taxidermy competition, where the Janitor wins first prize with a stuffed version of JD.**

"Oh God, let me drive!" I yelled out. Janitor gave me an odd look.

"Sorry, I do that a lot" I muttered, mostly to myself.

Something stirred in the back seat. Oh god, here we go…

"Good morning, Lurch, Madison! I'm going with names of states that sound like girl's names today, just to let you know, Newbie!"

"You're being awfully co-operative this morning, Angry Doctor!" called the Janitor.

"Well, I guess I thought over all those death threats I received from you last night, that may have made a difference, or it might have been that it is fairly impossible to report you to the cops, I'm still debating on that one, but I decided last night that I might as well enjoy the ride, I mean it's a 6 day break from that hell-hole they call a hospital and the devil they call Dr Kelso, am I right?"

The Janitor was silent, and gave me a puzzled look. He wasn't as used to Dr Cox's rants as I was.

"So, we're past Phoenix. 1 day, 41 minutes to go"

Wow, the time went really quickly so far!

"When's the next stop, Jumpsuit? Helena here probably needs to redo her makeup!"

"We'll be stopping at a motel at sunset"

"This is like Thelma and Louise…" I muttered. Hmm…

**Dr Cox wearing a blonde wig and the Janitor wearing a ginger wig stand over JD. The Janitor is holding a gun, and he shoots JD. The two climb in a car, and drive over a cliff edge. As they fall, they lean in for a kiss…**

"Damn it, Perry, we need to get you a blonde wig!" I snapped, banging my hand on the dashboard.

"Charlotte, I'm not even going to ask…"

The motel was small and cheap-looking. A blue neon sign saying "Blue Moon Traveller's Inn" hung askew over the door. A receptionist with dyed black hair and too much makeup eyed us as we walked in. She was smoking and filing her nails.

"We only got a two bedroom" she drawled uninterestedly.

"That's fine!" Dr Cox butted in, before Janitor could say anything. "Put it on my credit card under Percival Cox, thank you, have a nice night!"

He slammed his card down on the counter, grabbed the key and stormed upstairs. I shrugged and followed. The girl watched up suspiciously all the way up the stairs.

Dr Cox opened the door to the room. The walls were grey and the lightbulb was almost completely gone. A small window gave a view of the highway. There were, of course, only two beds.

"Regina, you sleep on the floor, seeing as you're the one who got me into this mess!" my mentor grunted. He chucked me a pillow and a blanked, and lay down on his bed, fully clothed, and went to sleep.

I got him into this mess? What the hell?

Janitor got into his bed. The lightbulb gave up the ghost, and flickered out, leaving the room in pitch blackness.


	4. Chapter 4

Today had been a fairly normal day

**Note-Yes, this is an incredibly short chapter, but next chapter is going to get so much more exciting!**

I woke up lying on something hard. Hang on a sec; I could've sworn that the floor I slept on last night was softer than this. And I could've sworn that the floor wasn't moving…

"If you're wondering where you are, Newbie, we decided that as you wouldn't wake up from your dream of whoever won sexiest male awards last night, you and me have done a swapsies as it is exte-hemely hard to put a sleeping girl into a passenger seat, kay?"

I heard the Janitor chuckle.

"What's so funny, Jumpsuit?"

"You're ranting. It's adorable!"

"What did you say, Lurch…?"

As the two guys went off into another argument, I wondered how long it was till Austin. Poor Rowdy…he must be so lost, alone, confused…

"Louise? Are ya listening there, Louise?"

"Louise? That's not a name of a state" I muttered.

"Not technically, Newbie. I cut Louisiana in half"

"Oh…By the way, how long till Austin?"

"Give it about…half an hour" said the Janitor.

"Seriously? What time did we leave?"

"About five in the morning. It's…10:26 now"

I was silent. Only half an hour, Rowdy! Just half an hour and you'll be home with me and Turk! I hope you bite the guy who stole you!

Just half an hour…


	5. Chapter 5

Today had been a fairly normal day

**Note-****Massive time jump, but all shall be revealed…Now for some action! **

"Ok, explain to me again why we are doing this!" growled Dr Cox. I was standing on his hand, and he was giving me a leg-up onto a wall.

"Because the guy who stole Rowdy won't give him back willingly. He said he wanted to use him in his entry"

"But why does it mean we have to break into his house?"

"Because that guy's beat me for the past three years!" said the Janitor. "I want to crowbar his work!"

"And why am I helping you ladies?"

"Because the Janitor has your loose change, so you can't do anything about it! Plus we appealed to your ego for about an hour"

"Fine…"

My mentor pushed his hands up, and I flew up in the air. My stomach landed on the wall. Winded, my legs flailed around a little before I pulled myself up.

"Well done, Scooter! Now the other side!"

I looked down behind me into Robert Basole's garden. I awkwardly vaulted over so that I was hanging off the wall by my arms. I took a deep breath, and let myself fall into the yard.

"Oof!"

I stood up, and brushed myself down. I looked around the garden. It was wide, with a small pond and neatly trimmed flowerbeds. Suddenly, I jumped. A stuffed cat was sitting in a tree, watching me with glassy eyes. As I walked around the garden, I realised that it was speckled with other stuffed animals. A few frogs and tortoises sat by the pond, and a bird was perched on a log. The place was eerily silent.

"You there, Anna?"

"Yep!" I called out, ignoring that Dr Cox had now run out of state names.

"Great!"

There was a short thud, followed by another thud and a groan. I turned around to see that the Janitor appeared to have fallen on Dr Cox!

"Get off me, Lurch!"

"Right" said the Janitor, getting off my mentor. "If I remember correctly, he told me once he keeps all his animals in a project shed"

I almost asked why he had told that to his opponent, but then remembered that this was the Janitor, so it probably involved acid, alcohol and some form of threat or bribery.

"Is that it?" Dr Cox said, pointing at a rickety wooden shack.

"Probably. Oh, he keeps his key under that stuffed snail on the rock!"

"How do you stuff a snail?" I muttered to myself, but followed hesitantly.

Sure enough, Dr Cox produced a small key from under a snail, and held it up. It glinted in the midday sunlight. The Janitor took the key, and inserted it in the lock. I held my breath as it clicked, and the door swung open.

"Oh…my…god…" breathed Dr Cox. I followed them in, and gasped.

On a table, a group of dogs sat around a table, playing cards. One of them was smoking; another had a glass of beer raised to its mouth.

"That's horrible!" muttered Dr Cox.

"It is…" the Janitor agreed.

"You stuff animals too!" Dr Cox pointed out.

"Not the taxidermy! He stole my idea for next year!"

Suddenly, I recognised one of the dogs.

"Rowdy!" I yelled, and grabbed the dog. I hugged it to my chest.

"Oh, Rowdy, I've missed you, boy! Now let's get out of here before that crazy man gets back!"

"Not so fast!" came a voice. We swung around, terrified.

An old man was standing at the door, carrying a rifle. He inserted a pellet into the barrel, and aimed it at us. There was a manic glint in his eye.

"You aint going nowhere till I'm done with ya, fellas! And Bobby aint done just yet! We's gonna have us some fun first…"


	6. Chapter 6

Today had been a fairly normal day

**Note-****Nearing the end now. This is probably the penultimate chapter. Sorry to "Bells of Tomorrow", but this isn't an explanation chapter. It was briefly explained what happened in the dialogue. But if you're still reading this, thanks for still reading this!**

"Hey, there, Robbie, old pal!" grinned the Janitor. "How's it goin?"

"Don't you dare speak!" growled the old man in a very, very Texan accent. He turned, and pointed the gun at me. I clutched Rowdy tighter to my chest.

"Now you just that there dog down now, son" he warned menacingly.

"Never!" I replied, in a foolish act of chivalry. Robert Basole squinted his eyes, and began to squeeze the trigger.

"Newbie, put the dog down!" murmured Dr Cox firmly. So I did, and the old man let his rifle drop from my face. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"So you's been robbin ma prize piece there, Jan?" he asked. For a moment, I wondered who Jan was, before realising that he was speaking to the Janitor.

"No, Robbie, of course not! I was just checking out the competition!"

"By breakin and enterin ma project shed?"

There was a silence. Then, Dr Cox spoke.

"Now, buddy, me and Georgia here have done abso-lu-hutely nothing wrong, so why don't you just put that gun down and let us go, because unlike you and this maniac here, we have lives apart from stuffing dead animals, well actually I'm not sure about Carolina having a proper life, but I have an ex-wife and child that don't know whe-here I am, and that brings me back to my original point, we have to go, so why don't you just move aside, and we'll be on our way!"

How could I have forgotten Carolina and Georgia?

Dr Cox walked bravely towards the door, and tried to shoulder shove past Basole. But there was a squish and a thud, and a yell of pain. Robert had knocked Dr Cox to the floor by hitting him on the stomach with the rifle.

"Dr Cox, are you ok?"

There was a cackle of manic laughter from our opponent. He held up something to the light. It was the key to the shed that the Janitor had carelessly placed next to a dead raccoon.

"Right, fellas, I better be off! I's got a competition to win!

And with that, still carrying the gun and Rowdy, he backed out of the shed, and locked the door behind him.

"Isn't it odd that all the people I hate and want to murder brutally are called Robert?" Dr Cox whispered in pain as he stood up. I turned angrily to the Janitor.

"Now how the hell are we supposed to get out?" He shrugged.

"Come on, there's gotta be a window or something!" I yelled in desperation. I could feel tears of anger and frustration welling up in my eyes. Don't cry, JD! If you cry in front of the Janitor and Dr Cox, you'll never live it down…

"Relax! I'm a Janitor; I'm good at spotting cracks in small spaces!"

He walked over to the door, and started inspecting it.

"What the hell are you doing, Lurch?" yelled Dr Cox angrily. "We're stuck in a shed with dead animals and you're checking the woodwork? What are you, some kind of idiot? What will rotting wood do to help us?"

"This!" said the Janitor triumphantly. He gave the door a swift kick. There was a crack, and the rotten wood splintered, cracked and split. The door fell off its hinges, and fell to the floor outside with a smothered thump.

"Oh, by the way, Angry Doctor, you'll pay for calling me an idiot later!"

"What…?"

"Guys, lets just go!" I yelled.

Janitor nodded, and we ran through the door, and to the van. I climbed in the passenger seat, and Janitor started the exhaust.

"Right! Let's go!" he said. The van swung into motion, and we took of down the road towards the Taxidermy Competition and Rowdy.


	7. Chapter 7

Today had been a fairly normal day

**Note-****Final chapter! Sorry it took so long to update, I was away for the weekend.**

The hall was crowded with people. There were rows of tables with exhibitions on them, and I could have sworn I saw someone carrying a stuffed alligator under their arm. It was honestly like one of my daydreams come to life. The Janitor had set up his table near the back, and laid his collection of hospital squirrels on it. It was a war scene.

"Ok, as long as Basole doesn't notice us, we'll be ok" muttered Janitor. "I'd better stay here. Angry Doctor, Scooter, you split up and try to find the dog. Oh, and if you see anything amazing…" he pushed a small bottle of green liquid into my hand "acid it!"

I gave him a "what the hell, are you insane" look. A large old man in a tweed suit came up to us.

"Ah, and you must be Jan Itor!" he said. "I'm a huge fan of your work!"

"Why thank you!" Janitor replied in a very fake Russian accent. So that was his vice! Dr Cox had already gone, so I took off in the other direction.

Basole was up at the front, having been the prize winner for 3 years running. It was easy not to get close to him, but from where he was, he had a view of the whole lobby. And that included me and Dr Cox. Wonderful…

I looked at my watch. It was 11:56. The final judging started at midday.

Quickening my pace, I strode through rows of tables and people, trying to find Basole's unguarded exhibition. Finally I found it; the four card playing dogs. Apart from Rowdy, the animals were different to the ones in the shed. These ones were more polished and cleaner, more competition worthy.

I reached out to Rowdy, desperate to finally claim my prize. But just as I was about to touch him, a metallic voice echoed through the hall. I swore under my breath. It was the loudspeaker announcing the final judging.

"_Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the Austin Taxidermy Competition 2008!_"

A deafening cheer spread across the hall.

"_Folks, you have been waiting for this moment for a year, and now it's finally here! The finalist tallies have been announced by our panel! And I can safely say that the three competitors who will be going through to the finals are…"_

The crowd held its breath. If I was to grab Rowdy and run now, everyone would know. I stayed still where I was, like a statue. Hmm…JD, no! No time for daydreams now!

"_Clara Medley with her kitten romance scene…"_

The spotlight moved over to a pretty ginger woman who grinned cheekily and waved. She was holding a stuffed tabby.

"_Jan Itor with his squirrel army…"_

I whooped and cheered along with the rest of the crowd. At the front, Basole growled, now that he could see that we had escaped his shed. I reached out and grabbed Rowdy while the spotlight was on the Janitor. I had my arms around his belly when the announcement started up again.

"_And three-time champion, Robert Basole!_"

Suddenly there was a burst of white light, and I realised that the spotlight was upon Basole's collection. Which meant that it was also on me.

The crowd gasped and started to whisper to each other. Basole stood up in his chair angrily. I froze.

"Now you let go of that there dog, boy!" he bellowed. "That's ma show!"

"This is my dog!" I yelled back. Another gasp from the crowd. "You bought him off EBay!" another gasp. The director of the competition stood up.

"Mr Basole, is this true? Because if it is, then you have breached rule 28, and will therefore be disqualified from this and all other competitions!" he sounded as if he had rehearsed that speech in front of a mirror.

"It's true!" came a voice from the audience. It was Dr Cox. "This maniac locked us in his shed!"

"We had to break our way out!" said Janitor, still holding his Russian accent.

"It's all true!" I piped up again.

The director looked puzzled, and he started whispering to the judges. There was a stunned silence before he spoke again.

"Robert Basole, you are hereby disqualified from the Austin Taxidermy contest for breaking rule 28: passing another's work as your own! And Jan Itor, you are also disqualified for breaking rule 37: attempted sabotage of another's work! Which means that the winner of this competition is Miss Clara Medley, give it up for her, folks!"

The crowd erupted. I groaned. I had kinda wanted Janitor to win. I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was Dr Cox.

"Grab that dog, Dakota! We're getting out of here!"

I nodded, and the three of us ran outside and jumped in the van.

"Rowdy, boy, I'm so glad to have you back!" I crooned, placing him in the back and climbing in the front seat. "I'm sorry you got disqualified, Janitor"

"Ah, no biggie!" he said. "There's always New Mexico!"

Dr Cox got in the back, and looked over the seat.

"Have I seriously got another three days of you two to look forward to?"

"Yep!" I grinned. Dr Cox could act tough, but I knew he enjoyed the break as much as we did.

"Well turn on the radio then, Newbie"

I flicked the switch, and was greeted by…ah, sweet bliss, Journey!

"I love this song! Hear that, Rowdy, it's your bath music! _She's just a small town girl…_"

"No, Newbie. J-j-just…no!"

**Note-Thanks for staying till the end, readers! There's a poll on my Fanfiction profile about which story I should write next, so come and vote please! If you vote for My Changes, that means I'll just carry on the oneshot I already wrote. Thanks!**


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